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Keep Off The Grass!

May 29, 2014

H is coming to terms with death.

I was warned by his Sunday School teacher that there may be questions.  Apparently they had been looking at the bit in the New Testament when Jesus appeared to doubting Thomas and showed him the wounds in his hands and feet as proof that He had been nailed to the cross.  H had asked some questions, and then some more questions, and then, I think, they decided to stop for juice which is (if I’m going to be honest) currently H’s favourite part of Sunday School, so that was a good distraction.

I was prepared; so when, later, he said “I don’t want to have holes in my hands and feet when I die” there was a brief and satisfactory discussion about how Jesus has already suffered that for us.

But it was clear that there were more questions coming.

“Did Jesus bounce into heaven?” was unexpected but, looking at the picture in his Bible concerning The Ascension, it was a valid question.  I didn’t know the answer. I thought maybe not but then bouncing into heaven would be fun and Jesus is all about the good things, so who knows?  It’s another thing to add to the list of ‘Things To Ask When We Get To Heaven’.  (My list is VERY long.)

And then we got to the dinosaurs.

For his birthday H was given a new dinosaur encyclopaedia.  It contains fascinating information on plate tectonics, time lines and some of the most blood-curdling illustrations in print.  It’s also his favourite thing to read at night so the little chap goes merrily off to sleep with images such as this:

Image

Sweet dreams little man.  Yes, that is a dinosaur’s internal organs being ripped from his still-living body.  Anyway, n’night!

Or this:

photo 3

Yes, the bird dinosaur is eviscerating the other dinosaur.  See you in the morning!

They didn’t bother him though.  Blood, guts and flesh-eating monsters are merely shrugged off.

What really got to him was this:

photo 4

Observe the truly terrible spectacle of an Apatosaurus eating….a plant.  

He stared at it for a little while.

“Mummy,” he said.

“Yes,” I said, a little nervously.  He’d been looking at it for quite some time.

“In the days of the dinosaurs, did the grass say ‘AAAAGGGGHHHH!  HE’S GOING TO EAT ME! HE’S GOING TO EAT ME! AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH’?”

“No,” I said, “it didn’t”, and we turned back to the hideously grotesque flesh-eating pictures for a bit of light relief.

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